Colors and Promises
by Janeway1390
Summary: During the plane crash Arizona wonders what her life would be like if she and Callie met under different circumstances.


In a world where Callie and Teddy were able to save Nick, where he never got sick, hell even where he never existed, Arizona wondered if she would still be propped against an airplane with a bone sticking out of her thigh.

In that moment (_for just that moment_) she resented him for coming to Seattle with his unfixable cancer. When the moment passes Arizona knows she would have flipped out on Karev either way. So she pushes the thought out of her head and focuses on the task at hand.

"Are you still hanging in there Jerry?" she calls as she slightly and _painfully_ adjusts herself against the wreckage.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"I'm going to need you to do a few things for me. First we need to check your heart rate." She instructs him on taking his vitals as best she can through the increased throbbing in her leg. When Arizona's confident that he's in no threat of imminent death, she lays her head against the cool steel of the wreckage and closes her eyes. She can't even imagine a world where Nick never existed. He was as much a part of her as Tim and she hates to think what kind of person she would be without them.

* * *

In a world without Nick, Arizona is burdened. She carries the grief of Tim's death around like a weight, never having anyone to help her bear it.

She's quiet, moody, and slow to smile. It was something she chalked up to the grief of losing her brother, but it sticks with her every day until she doesn't even notice it anymore.

Seattle Grace is a nightmare at first. Everyone wants to know things about her. Where are you from, what do you do for fun, are you single? She never asks about them. Not because she doesn't care, but because she doesn't _want_ to care. Most of the people she works with are pleasant and fun and seem to be genuinely good people, but she doesn't want to get too close. She doesn't want to share the pain of losing a coworker like the hospital has before.

That all changes one night at Joe's. She's having a glass of wine to celebrate her latest save when she catches Callie Torres shuffle behind her into the bathroom. These days all she hears from the nurses is that they can't wait for Torres to get out of her funk so they can have a shot at her. Arizona doesn't know if it's the alcohol or the look on the other woman's face that makes her follow the brunette into the bathroom that night.

"You okay?" she asks though she clearly knows the answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Callie says swiping her finger under her eye like she's trying to fix her makeup. They look at each other for a moment before the blond nods and moves to go.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just been a long . . . it's been a long year," Callie shakes her head. "And I should be asking how you are doing."

"I'm fine," she says confused by the question.

"It's just . . . I've seen you at the hospital and sometimes you look so sad. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

Arizona stared at her for a moment before laughing softly. She waved off Callie's concerned look, "I came in here to . . . I don't know what I came in here to do, but I am really not the person to give you the 'it gets better' speech."

They smile at each other before Callie steps forward and grabs her arm. "That settles it. I think we need to grab a drink and be 'fine' together."

* * *

The rustling of leaves and distant voices wakes her. The others laid Mark down and gave her the news about Lexie. The sudden reality of their situation hits her and it takes all of her might to quell the bubbling hysteria in her chest. Lexie was dead and any one of them could be next.

The next hours were spent setting up a camp. She and Mark were moved inside the cabin to protect from the coming chill of night. Her hand rarely left his neck; she had taken it upon herself to be his own personal heart monitor.

They were supposed to be home by now and Callie had to be freaking out. She wouldn't be surprised if her wife and The Colonel had set up their own search party. Arizona could picture them riding around in ATV's scouring the forest for them.

"You still in shock?"

Arizona's eyes snapped up to meet Cristina's. "What? No. Why?"

"Cause you're smiling like an idiot. We were in a plane crash. You're either still in shock or you're crazy."

"I think we're all in shock."

Cristina seemed to sober up further. "How's the leg?"

"The same. Mark is holding steady, too."

Cristina updated her on everyone's condition then left to go sit next to Meredith and the dying fire. She looked back down at Mark willing him to pull through. The speech she gave about staying alive for their family seemed to work, but there was only so much a person could do on pure will.

* * *

In a world without Mark, Callie and Arizona don't fall together so easily. Without Mark to help guide her through it, Callie can barely handle her breakup with Erica. Not that you could really call it a breakup, they were never together in the first place. They shared a few kisses and a lot of stolen moments, but it fizzled before it began. Addison was there as much as she could be and Bailey rather unwillingly talked her through it, but Callie felt mostly alone.

Arizona heard rumblings from the nurses. They talked about Callie with concern and worry, unsure of what was wrong with her and though Arizona sympathized, she had enough of her own problems to worry about. Any day now Coleen and Noel were going to find out about each other and that was going to blow up in her face. Not to mention the new oncology fellow she had drinks with the night before.

It wasn't until Arizona met Dr. Torres that she saw why the nurses were all hot and bothered. The woman was gorgeous and had a mysterious broodiness about her that Arizona loved. Three weeks after they first met Arizona invited Callie for drinks.

"We're friends, aren't we? Friends get drinks."

Callie had eyed her suspiciously, more guarded than before. "I'm an _awesome_ friend," Arizona said before she had a chance to back out.

Their friendship was surprisingly easy after that. When Callie opened up to her about Erica she could almost see the weight lifted off the other woman's shoulders. While Callie was still unsure of her sexuality, Arizona was positive of hers but after Erica she didn't want to push. It sucked. It _really_ sucked.

It wasn't one sided though. She'd catch Callie giving her a look that said so much more than "we're just friends" or a touch that lingered a little too long.

"I'm sorry Callie, I can't do this anymore," she said one day after pulling Callie into the nearest on-call room.

"What? You don't want to get drinks anymore? What about pizza?"

"Not that. I can't do _this_," she motioned between them while the other surgeon's eyes grew worried. She could practically feel Callie's wall go back up. "We're friends. You're my best friend, but I have to be honest with you. I can't just be friends with you anymore. I want to be more than-"

"Oh thank God," Callie breathed moving in to kiss her. They fell together easily after that.

* * *

"Wake up, Blondie."

"Hmm?"

"Arizona wake up."

She registered the violent cough bubbling in her throat before anything else. When she finally opened her eyes she saw the concern in Mark's and knew he saw the blood she tried to cover up.

"How long has that been going on?"

"Pretty much since we crashed."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"What good would it have done? There's nothing we can do about it and we already have enough problems."

Mark looked at her in concern and (_not for the first time_) she noticed the similarities in Sofia's same expression. "Sofia gets her concerned face from you."

"Don't change the subject. You've got to tell us if it gets worse. If I'm not allowed to die, neither are you."

Arizona's hands unconsciously moved to check his pulse again. The pain in his eyes was so raw she was forced to look away and nod.

"Yang told us to stay conscious."

She smiled slightly. "You didn't listen to her either."

"My heart's being held together by a hairspray pump. I have an excuse." Arizona appreciated the effort of his almost smirk. She must have been out of it for awhile based on the glowing embers of light emerging from the night sky. Time was hard to process, but she guessed they'd been here almost a whole day. They were going to have to start worrying about food and water soon. And not freezing to death. Or bleeding to death. Or being eaten by bears.

"We're not going to be eaten by bears."

"I am not worried about that."

"Yes, you are. You have a bear fear. Every time we read Sof that book about animals you get that same look on your face when the bear part comes. The look you're wearing right now."

Arizona failed to suppress another cough. This one violent enough to warrant looks from the other's across the camp. She waved them off to show she was okay and stroked Mark's hair, more for her comfort than his.

"We're going to be okay, Mark."

* * *

In a world where Arizona took the attending position at Hopkins instead of Seattle Grace, she and Callie meet at a conference in San Francisco.

Callie came in late, slightly damp from the rain, and sat next to Arizona. They shared a smile then went back to listening to the speaker.

"Do you happen to have the notes from the beginning of Dr. Soloman's talk?" Callie asked after the surgeon had left the stage.

"I don't, but you didn't miss anything."

Callie raised an eyebrow at her skeptically, causing Arizona's smile to brighten. "His procedure was revolutionary ten years ago, but there are so many new advancements happening in the pediatric field these days. You should go to Dr. Robbins' presentation tomorrow. I promise it will rock your world."

Callie returned her smile. "Will you be there Dr. . . .?"

"I will. Maybe we'll run into each other." Arizona left her with a wink and sauntered away. Arizona didn't come to this conference expecting to pick up some (_insanely hot_) surgeon, but she wasn't complaining. Halfway through her presentation the next day she caught sight of the brunette smiling at her and returned a dimpled one of her own.

"You could have told me you know," Callie told her after the presentation.

"But where's the fun in that? A little mystery makes things exciting."

"Well in that case you're going to have to buy me dinner to learn my name."

An arched eyebrow told her she may be in for more than dinner that night.

* * *

"Robbins! Come on, Robbins! Open your eyes."

Her eyes opened slowly, blurs of color swimming in front of her face. It took her a minute to clear her eyes and bring Derek's face into focus. His good hand was cupping her face while his eyes sought hers.

"We're being rescued. You've got to stay conscious for a little while longer."

He was right. If she focused through the haze in her head she could hear the helicopter and feel the rush of the wind around her. Mark was still next to her, unconscious, but alive.

"H-How long was I out?"

"Few hours at least. We tried to keep you conscious, but you kept going in and out of it. I'm worried about your vitals so you need to try to stay awake. How are you feeling?"

It took her longer than it should have to process his words. The edges of her vision went dark and despite her efforts to stop it, her head slumped forward.

"Damn it. Meredith, I need your help!"

* * *

In a world where Arizona stayed in Africa, she doesn't meet Sofia until she's three. The moment the little girl runs up to her, Arizona knows it's Callie's daughter.

They haven't spoken since the airport, except for one long apology email (Arizona) and one very short response (Callie). For the first year she kept in touch with Teddy, who told her of Sofia's birth, but when her friend took a Chief position at another hospital they lost touch.

Knowing that Callie had a daughter and seeing that daughter looking up at her with a Callie's big smile and wide eyes is a different matter. Arizona can't quite explain how it makes her feel, but she can't help the smile that forms for the little girl.

"Sofia! Sofia, honey, you have to stay close to-"

And that's where it happens. After three years they see each other again, Arizona tanned and tired from her flight, Callie beautiful as ever, Sofia between them. It's not how Arizona envisioned, but at least Callie probably wouldn't yell at her in front of her daughter.

"Calliope. Hi."

"A-Arizona. I heard you were coming back soon."

"Got in last night," she replied. They stood in silence, neither knowing how they wanted to handle the situation. "I hope you're okay with me coming back to work here."

"It was three years ago. We're both adults. I'm glad you made it back."

Sofia tugged on Callie's hand and they walked past Arizona into the elevator. She thought she had dealt with this, with missing Callie, but she hadn't. Seeing her ex-girlfriend only brought an onslaught of emotions that she wasn't prepared for.

They bumped into each other a few times over the next few weeks, but it wasn't until after they worked a case together that they really talked about anything other than the weather.

"I know this one was hard for you, with Sofia and everything, but I really couldn't have done it without you."

"I still don't know how you do it."

"The big wins like this help. Especially in Africa. Just when I thought the influx of tiny coffins would kill me, we'd pull out a miracle and give a kid his future back."

Callie surprised her by putting a comforting hand on her arm. "I'm sorry," Arizona whispered. "Every single day I was sorry for leaving you. I-I know it's too late, but I just really need you to know that."

"I was thinking about picking Sofia up from daycare and grabbing some dinner. Would you like to join us?"

It was a start. Their road back to each other was long and painful, but it was worth it. It was always worth it.

* * *

Her eyes flutter open when they touch down in Boise. Strangers in green scrubs are rushing her to surgery and asking her questions she's not lucid enough to answer. The gurney is steered tightly around a corner and Arizona swears she sees a frantic flash of brown hair and the worried voice of her wife begging them to let her in. She blinks and Callie is gone.

The tears come in full force then. In the woods the thought of surviving for Callie and Sofia, keeping Mark alive and trying to keep the pain at bay occupied her time, but now that she was safe inside the hospital all she wanted was her wife.

* * *

In a world where Timothy didn't die, he meets Callie first. He hears about Dr. Torres from an Army buddy that was helped by the orthopedic surgeon and seeks her out in hopes that she can fix his knee and repair the damage done to his arm.

Arizona flies to Seattle to meet him and immediately butts heads with the fiery brunette. Callie wants to try a risky new procedure that (if successful) would give Tim full use of his leg and arm, but the worried sister just wants her to do the safer procedure that would only increase mobility. Of course, Tim sides with Callie and she hates how well they get along. Every time she walks into his room they're talking about football, or cars, or swapping stories from their travels. Something about Callie just irritates the hell out of her.

The night after Tim's surgery she goes to a bar across from the hospital to try and ease the worry from her body. The surgery was a success and with some physical therapy he should be like new. Arizona still worries though.

Halfway through her chardonnay Callie comes strolling in with some faces she recognizes from the hospital.

"Tim kicked you out of his room, didn't he?" Callie asks motioning to the bartender.

"Practically threatened me."

"Me too. I was going to stay and monitor him for awhile, but he told me to come keep you company."

Of course he did. "You don't have to do that. I'm just going to finish this glass and go back to my hotel."

Callie raised her eyebrow like it was an invitation then downed the shot of dark liquid Joe placed in front of her. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I want you to know that I always had your brother's best interests at heart."

Arizona was poised to attack (_she_ had Tim's best interests at heart), but the sincerity in Callie's eyes drained the fight right out of her.

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you. It wasn't about you. I was just worried. We . . . we almost lost him once already. Thank you for helping him."

Callie smiled. "What would you say to another drink?"

Two weeks later Tim was on a plane back to Boston. Arizona stayed in Seattle.

* * *

The similarity of the situation was not lost on Arizona when she woke up after surgery. Callie was clutching her hand tightly, head resting against the side of her bed. She took a minute to compose herself. Two legs, two arms, no major pain in her abdomen, which meant they probably didn't have to crack her chest. Good.

"Callie," she croaked.

Her wife's head snapped up.

"Are you real?"

"Of course I'm real," Callie replied squeezing her hand.

"We didn't meet at a conference?"

"No, Arizona what's-"

"You never met Tim?"

"No, honey."

"Nick has cancer?"

Callie nodded.

"And Mark?"

"He's stable. Not completely out of the woods, but he's doing okay. What's going on? Do I need to page neuro?"

Arizona smiled and grabbed Callie's arm to stop her. "I had some weird dreams and was just checking. It's so good to see you," her voice broke.

Callie leaned down to kiss her wife. "I was so scared Arizona. Your dad and I were this close to renting some ATVs and going to look for you ourselves." Arizona laughed and pulled Callie in for another kiss.

"Tell me about these dreams of yours. Did everyone sing?"

"No. They were mostly about how my life would be different if certain people weren't in it. You always were though. We always found each other. It helped get me through everything, knowing you'd always be there."

"I'll always be there," Callie confirmed.

In another life . . . it was something she used to think about often. When Tim died, when Carly dumped her, when she went to Africa and came back to find Callie pregnant with Mark's kid. But she wouldn't trade Sofia for anything. Sure she wished some things were different, but she's glad she lives in this world with this Callie. No matter what, they'd always find each other.


End file.
